October 14th, 2003


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02:31 pm - on compliment fishing...
actually, I'm not really... I'm comment fishing. This is a serious question, and not intended to seem nearly as egotistical as its gonna sound, so I'm curious as to where people are going to lean here.

I've had random conversations on the nature of attractiveness with people before. Most recently, like 2 minutes ago, with blackfishnets. And to extent about 12 hours ago with monkey587. And that got me to wondering about how people see me. So at the risk of sounding like way incredibly vain (and seriously, I don't mean it that way):

1) Am I more sexy or charming? Both? Neither?
2) What's the difference?
3) Which do you think you are?
4) Which do you wish you were?
5) Which quality is more attractive to you?

Current Mood: [mood icon] curious

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

 
on compliment fishing... - graffiti.maverick

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Comments:


[User Picture]From: fizzbang Date: October 14th, 2003 - 12:05 pm (Link)
1) Am I more sexy or charming? Both? Neither?

Well, I'm still a relative newcomer to the Marvelous Multiverse of Mav, but I'd say you're a good combination of both. From my limited personal interaction with you, I've seen more instances of charm than sexiness, but I doubt I've really been the target of sexy actions, so I'm hardly the right judge for that.

2) What's the difference?

In a purely subjective definition, I would define "charm" as the property of being appealing, enjoyable, and even infectious in a variety of types of social interaction, from being smooth and suave in polite situations to being rowdy and boisterous in less formal mileaus.

By comparison, "sexy" tends to be more of an appeal to the physical urges. But whereas "charming" is almost entirely a matter of social abilities and personality, "sexiness" also draws from a person's physical appearance. But much less so than most people think; attitude can make all the difference, in positive or negative ways.

For me, I find that "charm" is an wider field that includes "sexy" as one of its aspects. I certainly have found charmingness to be extremely sexy, but I don't automatically find sexiness to be charming. Of course, just because you're friendly and fun doesn't mean you'll inspire the urge for sex...

3) Which do you think you are?

I'd like to think I'm more charming than sexy, although my own definition rather means that it'd work for both cases.

4) Which do you wish you were?

Charming is certainly more useful, but sexy has more, shall we say "tangible" benefits. But I think I'll stick with charming and keep developing it towards sexy.

5) Which quality is more attractive to you?

Charm, definitely. There's a lot more to a person than fleshy delights, and it's nice to be able to enjoy talking with someone, as well as fucking them.

Of course, there is an undeniable appeal to sexiness, but it tends to fade on its own. Y'know, after a few nights or so.
[User Picture]From: jetgrrl01 Date: October 14th, 2003 - 12:13 pm (Link)
As I haven't met you in real life yet, I can only guess that you're sexy from your online personality and your pictures. However, I know that you're charming (unless you're online personality is very diff't than real life, but somehow I doubt it). Sexy for me is an attitude/look/vibe thing. I suppose one could be sexy looking in a picture and not be sexy in life, but the opposite is also true. Charm is all about being interesting to talk to, making someone feel interesting. I usually feel somebody is charming if we have a good sparkling conversation and there's a lot of give and take. Maybe a hint of flirtiness, but not trying to get anywhere with it, just as part of their personality.

I think I'm usually viewed as charming and sometimes viewed as sexy. I don't disagree with that, but I view myself as slightly less of those things than my friends/bf do.

I'm actually happy with the balance, though. I think charm is great in business and social worlds. However, I might want to be sexy for my man, but I DO NOT want to be sexy at work. I like being appreciated for my talent and people skills (some of that is charm, too).

I think charmingness can be sexy, so that's why it's more important to me. I'd rather have a somewhat attractive guy who isn't photo-sexy but is incredibly charming than have a supermodel guy with the personality of a stuffed animal. :)
[User Picture]From: marsinthestars Date: October 14th, 2003 - 07:15 pm (Link)

having never met you...

Having only spoken to you recently and never met you in person, I can only add my two sense on the idea behind the question. I think sexy is a visual characteristic, while charm is a personality component. I suppose a person can learn to act sexy, but I think that's more self confidence + looks then an actual aspect of personality. So I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. That's all I have to say on that! Seems like a good survey question for people you know personally.
 

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