February 28th, 2005

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11:42 am - more on pretty boys... (and girls too, this time)
Ok, I totally don't get this. I'm being serious this time. I know I bitch about "cute" guys from time to time, and how they aren't really all that hot. And I pick on Depp in particular, mostly because I know how much beststephi and other readers like him. But really, beststephi is willing to leave me for this idiot? I mean I totally don't get it. He looks like a fucking serial killer. I mean, to each their own, really. I know for instance that as far as "popular" beauties go, I'd totally do Britney, and yet I wouldn't give Angelina a second look. A lot of people seem to think Paris Hilton is attractive, but if I met her in a bar, I'd totally think she was Nicole Ritchie's somewhat less attractive friend, that is just there to block lame guys who are trying to hit on Nicole. I mean she's totally a mission for the wingman. I mean, don't get me wrong. Once you get to know her, then you find out she's not too bright a girl who has a whole lot of money and likes to get drunk and suck cock on camera (thanx, suicideking), so she's like a total catch. But if I had no idea who she was, I'd never give her a second look.

But Depp? I'm sorry, I just don't get it. I mean, I sort of get young Depp. If a girl is into the Jumpstreet/90210 pretty boy thing, then fine. I still think Grieco was better. But whatever. But old Depp? It's like he's trying to look like crap. Especially last night.

At least, with guys, I get it. I mean we're pigs. Pamela Anderson isn't exactly my type. But she has huge tits, blonde hair, a tiny waist, and again, a penchant for having sex on camera. Oh, and she's rich. So, again, I get it. I can point to her, and say "damn, she looks like a porn star. I see why guys want to fuck her." Lately, when I look at Depp, I say, "damn, he looks like the kinda guy who if you got involved with him, he might chop you up into little bits and bury you in the garden." I mean, he even made a movie about it. So really, in all seriousness, what is it?

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more on pretty boys... (and girls too, this time) - graffiti.maverick

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[User Picture]From: rackletang Date: February 28th, 2005 - 08:53 am (Link)
I was saying last night that he looked like the gay Wright brother. But that's just me. I'm not too much for the weaselly facial hair that evokes the late 19th century....
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:50 pm (Link)
yeah, I'm amazed that I'm not really getting people defending him here. I guess I was right and he really does just look that bad.
[User Picture]From: mistergone Date: February 28th, 2005 - 09:06 am (Link)
I kind of like it. Johnny Depp is Johnny Depp, so he can say, "Fuck you, I'm dressing like a retarded Woolworth's manager from 1932!"

I wish I had that kind of clout.

Well, I mean, I do, but not with the Oscars people.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:49 pm (Link)
maybe. But he must not be doing it to make a statement. Maybe he's just amusing himself. Maybe he's just saying "I'm Johnny Depp, bitchez!" and collectively slapping the america in the face out of boredom. But that's "why he can get away with it." that's different. it still doesn't answer the question of "why do women think its attractive."
[User Picture]From: muppetaphrodite Date: February 28th, 2005 - 09:46 am (Link)
I dig the color, the pants, and the shoes, but something about the top half just makes it look like he picked a shirt and jacket two sizes too small. On the other hand, I respect him saying "screw you" to all of the standard pretty-boy pandering that goes on.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:46 pm (Link)
I actually like the color a lot. But I was more talking about how he looks not his outfit. The hair and glasses, and his general face and posture. But yeah, I think the outfit needs a lot of help too. And the question is, was he trying to say screw you or not? Because it he was, I don't think it works. I think Ellen Degneras's standard award show attire says "screw you, I don't care what the media says is attractive." Or maybe Björk's. Or Flava Flav. Depp to me says "I don't know how to dress myself." I dunno, if he were coming across as "hip to be square" or something, that'd be different, but he doesn't. He looks like a 10th grade chemistry professor who never got laid EVER. And he looks like five seconds away from strangling the woman next to him (his wife, I think) and chopping her up into little tiny bits to feed the neighborhood cats.
From: gothfru Date: February 28th, 2005 - 11:29 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:41 pm (Link)
ok. But why? Seriously. I mean, Do you just like pretty boys? Even as pretty boys go, I don't think he's all that pretty. There are certainly tons more stars that are either more effeminate or more soft, which ever you are looking for. So seriously, why would Depp in eyeliner do it for you?
[User Picture]From: apestyle Date: February 28th, 2005 - 11:52 am (Link)
It looks like he's trying to look fucked up on purpose. Look how he's holding his body, I can feel some contempt coming through.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:40 pm (Link)
so you think he's trying to sabotage his own career? Or you think he's just trying to say "I'm Johnny Fucking Depp, and I can make anything cool?" I dunno, I don't think its working.
[User Picture]From: apestyle Date: February 28th, 2005 - 03:00 pm (Link)
His career? Naw, I think his career is as solid as they come. I don't think the guy is hurting for job offers nor money.

I don't think Depp is saying, "I'm Johnny Depp bitches! Anything I wear is cool!", I figure it more, "I'm Johnny Depp bitches! I hate these fucking shows, so I'm going to express my contempt by looking as shitty as I can! BTW Fuck you for trying to make me a pretty-boy, I'll come lookin' like a serial killer if I WANT to!"
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 04:16 pm (Link)
I guess so. If his end goal is to make me say "what the fuck is he thinking?" Then I guess he's doing a pretty good job.
[User Picture]From: marsinthestars Date: February 28th, 2005 - 12:21 pm (Link)
I am amused that the two actors you choose to rant on are possibly the only two I have ever made comments about running off with. And with Depp, those comments are rather frequent, particularly post-Pirates of the Carribean.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 01:39 pm (Link)
I don't really mind if you run off with Depp. I won't understand it, but I guess I sort of accept that its something that women want to do. The thing with Collin, that's different. I like you a lot, and I'd hate to see you get syphillis.
[User Picture]From: marsinthestars Date: February 28th, 2005 - 05:27 pm (Link)
I'm glad to see that you're looking out for me.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 06:22 pm (Link)
No problem, luv. I'm here to help.
[User Picture]From: nemesisn4sa Date: February 28th, 2005 - 03:59 pm (Link)
this totally ties into our conversation yesterday. why do "huge tits, blonde hair, a tiny waist" make you want to fuck a girl? and i still don't believe you're not into angelina. i don't believe anybody isn't into angelina.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: February 28th, 2005 - 04:08 pm (Link)
i don't believe anybody isn't into angelina.

Seriously. Even her gay brother couldn't resist.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 04:30 pm (Link)
oh yeah... incest... that's hot...

uh, or something...
[User Picture]From: arilinn Date: February 28th, 2005 - 04:58 pm (Link)
I have to agree. She's fucking hot!

And about Johnny Depp. Ok, in that picture, not so hot, but in all of his movies and stuff, total hunk
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: February 28th, 2005 - 06:18 pm (Link)
Especially in From Hell; perfect romantic hero (sigh).
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 06:21 pm (Link)
again, why? I wasn't joking. My point is, I want to know what it is about him that you (or anyone) finds appealing. Pretend he wasn't Johnny Depp. Pretend he was just some guy named Irving Forbush. Now tell me why Irving is hot.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: February 28th, 2005 - 06:29 pm (Link)
His eyes. He has this glaring intensity somewhere between anger and lust. Everything else is perfect, too.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 07:31 pm (Link)
you mean like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer?
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 06:20 pm (Link)
ok, for the sake of argument, assume I had never seen Angelina or Johnny. Describe them to me and tell me why they are hot.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 04:29 pm (Link)
well, ok, I have a lot of theories on that. I mean, part of its going to be biological. One of my favorite documentary makers is a guy named Desmond Morris. Des was a career zoologist and an authority on chimps and apes. At some point he became bored with that, and began studying people. But his twist was he began studying them from the point of view that they were just another animal. To him there was no sociology, just zoology. I have a few of his books and I have one of his documentary serieses (the Human Animal) on tape. I have been meaning to buy the DVDs of The Human Sexes, his award winning followup. If I get it, I'll let you know if you want to watch. Its fascinating. Anyway, so Des theorized that the reason Human Females evolved chest cleavage during non nursing periods was because humans began mating face to face, and the look of the modern human breast is an analog to the look of ass cleavage, the aspect of a female that a mamal traditionally stares at while mating "doggy style." He then showed and extreme close-up of the top of a butt and the top of a pair of breasts, and damned if they aren't hard to tell apart.

As for the the figure and blonde hair, I think that's more of an aspect of cultural definition. Males and females in the human species tend to gravitate towards the traits that are harder to come by. When something is rare, its revered. Like I said yesterday, in Ethiopia, fat chicks are HAWT! If 99% of the girls in America were white, 19, blonde, blue-eyed, 5'4, 107lbs. Then I bet Whoopi Goldberg would be the hottest woman around. The media responds to what the popular demographics say are attractive, and then a feedback loop occurs. And as time goes on, you have this slowly evolving picture of "beauty." I actually wrote papers about this in college and could probably go on for ages if you want to talk about it sometime later. But now I have to go, cuz Steph is waiting for me.

Oh, and no, I really am not into Angelina. But when I talked about it yesterday, I did acknowledge that she was hot in Gone in 60 Seconds.
[User Picture]From: nemesisn4sa Date: March 1st, 2005 - 08:36 am (Link)
i'm just happy you said ass cleavage.

this is such a fun discussion, and we haven't even gotten into pheremones yet!
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: March 1st, 2005 - 09:50 am (Link)
everyone should be happy about ass cleavage.

As for pheromones, there's all kinds of stuff about that too. But I was trying to stick more to the point of "what's the deal with big breasts, blonde hair and a tiny waist"

Of course, maybe big breasts put off a different smell than little ones... never thought of that before.
[User Picture]From: pointparker Date: February 28th, 2005 - 08:06 pm (Link)

Johnny Depp

I totally don't understand the Johnny Depp craze. He's ugly as sin. If I saw him on the bus,he's the kind of guy I'd try and sit as far from as possible and avoid looking at. The man's scary. He was decent in his younger days like "cry baby." but decent is as far as I'd go.

A few of my friends like him and I agree with you... it doesn't make sense. He's very unattractive, and scary and dirty looking. Benecio Del Toro on the other hand, he makes scary and dirty attractive. Depp sucks tho.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 09:06 pm (Link)

Re: Johnny Depp

that's generally my test of true celebrity attractiveness. If I saw this person in a club or a bar or whatever and didn't know they were, would I hit on them? Britney Spears, yes. Paris Hilton, no. And ok, I'm not a chick, but I'm a dude, and a tough one at that, and if I saw the guy in that pciture up there in a dark alley, I think I'd run for my life.
[User Picture]From: katieboyd Date: February 28th, 2005 - 08:10 pm (Link)
Yeah. He looks horrible in that picture.

In my opinion he tends to look good *as his characters*. He does a good job of making a character attractive, which, really, is an actor's job (assuming the character is meant to be attractive). I loved him in Benny & Joon, but mostly because I loved that character.
His attractiveness goes beyond his own personal attractiveness, which is probably why you can easily find pictures of him just being Johnny Depp and not understand why he's supposed to be such a hearthrob.
If he's a good actor, he also makes unactractive characters unattractive. But if he wants to be known for looking good, he'll only take the parts of characters that are supposed to be attractive.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: February 28th, 2005 - 09:23 pm (Link)
see, that I get. I get being attracted to a character but not the actor. I've said on many occasions that I think Kirstin Dunst is a great actress. I find myself believing in every character she plays, and frequently, be it in Spiderman, Drop Dead Gorgeous or Virgin Suicides, I find the character to be quite hot. But when I see her as herself in real life I think, eh... she's so-so. And when I hear her talk, I think, oh my god, what a ditz. Keep her away from me. So I'm totally more into her characters than I am into her. But in Depp's case, all these women are saying "he is so hot," not the characters from Jumpstreet, Benny and Joon, and Finding Neverland. They're claiming he's hot. As himself. And that's what I don't get.
[User Picture]From: sugarpinkrose Date: March 15th, 2005 - 11:52 am (Link)
katieboyd made good points!

I think Johnny Depp is hot. I am mostly really attracted to his brilliance as an actor. He's hotter in certain roles than in others, but I loved him in pretty much everything I've seen him in except Pirates. Well, Pirates wasn't bad (I watched it twice) but, he somehow just ISN'T a pirate. I never thought of him as a "pretty boy" though. With the exception of George Cluney & Matt Dillon, I generally am turned off by guys who are prettier than I am. Brad Pitt? Ew, no thanks. Speaking of Matt Dillon, there's another guy who is hotter in some roles than others. Hot in Singles, Icky (in a hilarious sort of way) in Something about Mary...

I think Angelina is hot. Paris? No. They were comparing her to a sleestack in the ljover30 community and I totally see it. LOL! Britney? Definitely Hot!

[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: March 15th, 2005 - 03:22 pm (Link)
I never thought of Clooney and Dillion as pretty boys. Depp, definitely. But anyway, if you think Clooney and Dillon are pretty, then what makes them special?
[User Picture]From: sugarpinkrose Date: March 15th, 2005 - 07:19 pm (Link)
The eyes, in both cases. The skin. The hair. They both just have beautiful faces. They are relatively "manly men" though, not scrawny or wimpy. I like that too. Johnny Depp is a bit on the scrawny side. Which is a big part of why I think he doensn't make much of a pirate.

I guess maybe I can see why you'd think Johnny Depp looks "pretty", in some of his roles...Ed Wood? LOL! Uh, he was wearing an angora sweater, it doesn't get much prettier than that does it? ROTFL!
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: March 16th, 2005 - 07:29 am (Link)
see, when you put it that way, it doesn't make them sound "prettier than you" it makes them sound handsome. That I don't have a problem with. Its the effeminate pretty boy that I have a problem with. Ladies, if you want to date a chick, its ok. Cut the pretenses and date a chick. At least that's my feeling on it.
[User Picture]From: sugarpinkrose Date: March 16th, 2005 - 05:36 pm (Link)
Good Point! Well said.

But, I don't think Johnny Depp looks effeminate (aside, of course, from the Ed Wood cross-dressing role...)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: March 16th, 2005 - 05:40 pm (Link)
Not nearly as much as he used to. Now he looks like an aging pretty boy, which sort of makes him masculine in a weird 80s rock-star kinda way. But in his younger, Jumpstreet, Benny and Joon days, I'd definitely say he was a pretty boy.

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