September 10th, 2002


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09:30 pm - Things I learn from movies...
How come when a white mother slaps her daughter for being slutty, the mother gets upset just afterwards?

Current Mood: [mood icon] confused

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

 
Things I learn from movies... - graffiti.maverick

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Comments:


[User Picture]From: danitapgh Date: September 10th, 2002 - 07:09 pm (Link)
This is complicated and probably depends on the particular woman's relationship with her own sexuality, violence, and parenting standards. For example, I could see a woman getting upset because she feels she failed as a parent to imbue her daughter with an innate sense of morality. Perhaps, the woman realizes that she has regrets that she isn't as sexually liberated as she'd like to be and feels bad for repressing her own daughter's natural instincts.

Is this only a problem with white women? I don't know that I've seen a real white woman slap her child for being slutty (this is behavior I associate with melodrama's on the Lifetime network)...
[User Picture]From: brotherless_one Date: September 10th, 2002 - 07:29 pm (Link)
There's a part of me that would like to believe that its some sort of [today's psuedo-scientific word:] psycho-spiritual response to striking a being which grew inside you in anger. However, that part of me that looks through the world wearing dark glasses thinks it because the mother fears an escalation of the "slutty" behavior as an act of defiance (which is very likely) and/or retaliation at a point when she finds herself vulnerable. Ofcourse, I'm a pessimist...
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 10th, 2002 - 08:11 pm (Link)
wow... a lot of $5 words in there...
[User Picture]From: brotherless_one Date: September 10th, 2002 - 10:42 pm (Link)
Nah...only ran about a buck fiddy.Got em at the dollar store...
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 10th, 2002 - 08:09 pm (Link)
Actually, it always seems to me that the mother is upset at herself for slapping more so than she is with the daughter for the sluttiness...

I can't recall ever seeing such behavior with any other race, and as I have never been a caucassian mother or daughter, I cannot say whether it happens in real life or not... But I just saw it on TV, so it must be true.
[User Picture]From: wooble Date: September 10th, 2002 - 08:17 pm (Link)
And obviously a woman who would be on TV because her daughter is a slut wouldn't be emotionally unbalanced or anything.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 12th, 2002 - 08:28 am (Link)

bingo!

Actually, it always seems to me that the mother is upset at herself for slapping more so than she is with the daughter for the sluttiness...

*cue music* We have a winner!

That's it, all right. The mom knows she's not supposed to hit her kid, and she knows it really won't help, either. On the contrary, it's going to make things a lot worse, and as the mom, she's not supposed to do stuff that will make the situation worse.

So, why *shouldn't* she feel bad?

-- just a white mom, wandering through from a discussion about wrestling on another lj.
[User Picture]From: jacquez Date: September 12th, 2002 - 11:52 am (Link)
So, ok...so would a black mother not get upset at herself for slapping the slutty daughter? Or would she not slap the daughter in the first place?

I've been trying to think of instances of this in film, and the only ones I can come with are white women slapping their daughters...interestingly, though, one of them didn't get upset, but she wasn't American.

So it might be an "American white women" thing, if it's a white women thing at all.

Thinking just about myself...I've never slapped another girl in the face (I did slap a guy in the face once). It's lowering yourself. If you're going to hit a daughter, you put them over your knee and hit their butt. Slapping in the face is trashy, and it's an unacceptable loss of control. You hit someone in the face, and in a lot of ways, they win, because they made you do this shameful thing.

I've never really thought about it before, but there it is.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 12th, 2002 - 12:05 pm (Link)
So, ok...so would a black mother not get upset at herself for slapping the slutty daughter? Or would she not slap the daughter in the first place?

I dunno... my mother never seemed to have that much trouble with hitting me... of course I wasn't a daughter. OK... back when I was a kid I remember some comment to the effect of "this hurts me more than it hurts you" before a beating... but I don't think there is anything to it... I think its just something parents say to fuck with their kids minds.

Thinking just about myself...I've never slapped another girl in the face (I did slap a guy in the face once). It's lowering yourself. If you're going to hit a daughter, you put them over your knee and hit their butt. Slapping in the face is trashy, and it's an unacceptable loss of control. You hit someone in the face, and in a lot of ways, they win, because they made you do this shameful thing.

See, that's what I don't get... why is it shameful. I mean, by that logic, when I got punched in the face by a bully in the third grade, I actually won, because he lowered himself? Nah, I don't think so.

I think I may just blow this off by faux laughing like Eddier Murphy and saying "HAHAHA... you silly caucassians."
[User Picture]From: brotherless_one Date: September 12th, 2002 - 12:50 pm (Link)
by that logic, when I got punched in the face by a bully in the third grade, I actually won, because he lowered himself?
That depends on whether or not the bully just randomly punched you in the face or if he did it after you mocked his attempts at bullying. In the latter, he strikes to save face meaning he's already lost the initial conflict and is forced to resort to base physical confrontation. I'm suprised you actually used this argument. You know "the best swords stay in their scabbards" line as well as I do...
 

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