November 11th, 2003

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02:37 pm - on annoyance with talk shows and my own life...

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on annoyance with talk shows and my own life... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: November 12th, 2003 - 07:05 am (Link)

Re: on painfully adhering to metaphors

dude... it's my metaphor, and I'm barely following you...

I guess what I want is something "fun" Not necessarilly silly, but something I enjoy doing. Something I am good at doing. And doing it with people I don't hate. Also, I'd kind of like to not have to drive 30+ miles each way in order to do it. Ultimately, I don't know what I am looking for. I know what I've done in the past and what I have liked and not liked about it.

To totally drop the metaphor... I miss being a designer. I think I was good at it. Right now, I am being a python and javascript monkey. Its very monotonous, and not at all interesting, and not what I want to do with my life in a million years. It so happens that I know both languages so, I am capable of doing it, but there is nothing about it that is at all related to anything that I am really "good at" or like doing. There's no real chance for "career advancement" (not that I'd really want it) even though that's the carrot that is constantly dangled in front of my face. Plus, I'm pretty much doing it in a hole by myself, so there's absolutely zero social aspect to it. So I'm unhappy.

What I honestly really really really want is the chance to work at CMU again, I like the environment there, its reasonably close to home, and i could go back to school, which is actually something I really really want more than anything else.

you know... or just kill me...

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