December 30th, 2003

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11:34 pm - on rituals for the deceased and remarks regarding them...

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on rituals for the deceased and remarks regarding them... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: jetgrrl01 Date: December 31st, 2003 - 06:11 am (Link)
It's easy to get out of your own funeral. Randy was cremated in the next day or two after he died. The memorial service/funeral was held a couple days later (with no body or ashes anywhere in sight). That's where all the talking was done, remembering, consoling the family, and then people went home. Later the close family spread his ashes around without the extra hundreds of people.

And the translation of "how are you doing?" is really more "are you about to break down and lose it and is there anything I can do?" so the normal answer of "I'm doing okay" translates to, "I'm not about to jump off a cliff or anything, but thanks for asking."

[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: December 31st, 2003 - 07:07 am (Link)
really? weird... aren't the ashes usually present at funerals in lieu of a body?

Actually, I am of the opinion that upon my death, it should be the decision of my wife/children what to do with my body and not left up to me. If they feel the need to have a funeral, scatter my ashes, bury me in a location they can visit or stuff me and hang me above the fireplace, then that's all fine with me. Yes it was my body, but I won't be using it anymore.
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: December 31st, 2003 - 10:55 am (Link)
I agree...funerals are for the living. Both of my mother's parents died over a decade ago. Being young, I went to the funerals. Neither one had an open casket. I actually wanted to see my grandfather's body, as I hadn't seen him in a few months. (They lived nearby and we saw them all the time.) But it was not an open casket and that was probably for the best.

Jewish funerals have some cool rituals surrounding them. The surviving children/spouse/parent is supposed to rend their clothing in grief. The modern representation is a black ribbon that is placed on the mourner and torn. There is also a period of mourning called sitting shiva which lasts 8 days. During that time visitors come and no work is done (cooking, cleaning and so forth are all left to visitors). At the end of the time, the mourners go on with life. Each year, on the anniversary of the death, a candle is burned to commemorate the deceased. I like the fact that the period of mourning is finite, as well as being complete - grieve deeply, and then move on.

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