June 7th, 2004


on being the Lorax...

Every once in a while I see something on the news so annoying that I want to write one thousand words of free flowing hostility, but so stupid that I can't be bothered to put that much thought into it.

So here's the deal. I like trees and parks as much as the next guy. Hey, what could be so lovely as going out, enjoying the sun, listening to music, having a BBQ picnic, flying a kite, throwing the frisbee around and sneaking off to make out with the 19 year old bikini-clad sun bathers who happen to be sun bathing there? Very few things. So we need parks, I acknowledge that.

But, can someone please explain to me how a city that has a serious downtown parking problem, a city so broke that it has deemed it necessary to institute a 50% tax on what parking is available there, has seen it fit to find the funds to convert a large portion of what parking is available into a park? That's right, apparently Tom Murphy has decided to extend Three Rivers Park by digging up the available parking by said park and planting grass and trees and stuff there. What the fuck? Who the hell is even going to go to said park? It's downtown! No one lives there! And if I decided i wanted to drive down there and have a picnic, where the fuck am I gonna park now? I certainly am not going to pack up my barbecue, kite, frisbee and boombox on the bus. And I don't think the 19-year-old coeds are going to ride the bus in their bikinis either. So what's the fucking point? Dammit! danitapgh is right, this city needs me. I am so running for mayor in the next election (or city council or county commission or czar or lord high supreme commander of Pittsburgh or something... whatever can give me an iota of power in this city and the right to beat the crap out of stupid people).

EDIT: Also, someone please explain to me how, for the love of Jay-Z, shutting down the government including the US Mail for Friday is honoring the memory of President Reagan? Did Ronnie just hate when things got done or something?

In other news, congratulations to beststephi on finishing her PhD this morning. Yay!
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