Mav (chrismaverick) wrote,

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on "That's Hot!" (or not)...

(EDIT: For people who are wondering, all the links here should be relatively worksafe. A tad on the sexy side, but I tried to not link to anything more scandalous than what might not grace the cover of Cosmo or Maxim in a grocery store checkout line)

So, I know I sort of touched on this briefly in my recent posts about Depp and Colin, and I'm sure I've hinted about it in one way or another in various 1KWFFHs and such in the past, but after I responded to a comment by akiramich earlier in nemesisn4sa's journal, I started thinking about it more and more and decided that maybe I'd post about it and see what other people's opinions were. So here's the question (open to readers of either gender and any sexual orientation). What is "hot?"

In the earlier conversation, I had basically said that in the movie Sin City(which you should see, because it will change your life. I saw it on opening night, and when it was over, I could walk! Praise Jay-Z, I can walk!) Jessica Alba was hot, akiramich on the other hand, countered that Alexis Bledel was hotter. I respectfully disagreed, claiming that instead she was actually very cute. In fact, she's gorgeous, especially her eyes. But she's not hot. At least not as hot as Jessica Alba. I think nemesisn4sa agreed with me that there was a difference.

But what is that difference?

Let me try to explain what I think hot is using these two women. The thing is, it all depends on what you mean by the word "hot." When I say it, I generally mean it to be a synonym for sexy, as opposed to cute. While both cute and sexy are attractive, they are attractive in totally different ways. I'm not quite prepared to say one is better than the other, I like them both. But they're not the same. Allow me to be crass for a moment. When I was a lad, there was a game called "Marry, Fuck, Kill" wherein we would pick three girls, possibly famous, possibly random girls in school and say which you would like to marry, which you would like to fuck and which you would like to kill. It wasn't a very complex game. It was a simpler time. A very lustful time, but a simpler one, nonetheless.

And that's the big difference. Bledel, even at her most sultry, is still really just adorably cute. Barring knowing anything else about her personality, intelligence, sense of humor or bodily odor, she's just looks like the stereotypical girl next door. Sweet and innocent. The one you might try to sneak a peak at when she's changing into her bathing suit, but then you're embarrassed when you do. The kinda girl you you just want to cuddle up with under the big oak tree in the park and watch the younger kids play on the swing set as you think of days gone by. You slowly reach for her shoulder and for a moment you wish you could reach out and touch her breast. But no, do so and you might lose her forever. Instead you talk and hope that her parents are watching when you drop her off on her doorstep so that maybe you might steal a french kiss before curfew. Sure her character was a whore, but her voice was sweet and innocent and you just know that she'd be a swell girl to take the the malt shop.

Alba on the other hand, is different. Even when Alba is trying to be cute, you just look at her, and you know she's naughty. Dangerous. Sure, for all I know, in reality, she's a prim and proper church going virgin, saving herself for marriage, to someone named Biff or Chet who wears a sweater with a letter on it. But when you look at her, you don't see that. You see the bad girl. The fast girl. The girl who could teach you things. The one who after curfew, when Alexis is safe at home, took you back to the same playground, sat you down on the slide and gave you your first blow job. There's no moving slowly, no wearing a tie and trying to impress her dad when you come to take her to the school dance. No, Mr. Alba just says please use a condom, don't be too loud if you're going to spend the night and then asks if you want a hit of his joint before he goes upstairs with her mom to that same waterbed you used with Jess when they were out of town last week. She could be the best conversationalist in the world, but the way she moves her stomach when she dances with that lasso and you just know that she's the kinda girl you practice the most advanced techniques from the kama sutra with. For 4 hours on a stretch.

So a question open to both genders and any sexual orientation: What does hot mean? What does cute mean? How about sexy, pretty, handsome, etc.? Are they the same? Are they different? Are there other types of attractive? Are there more types for one gender than the other? And are the rules different for men and women? Can you give me examples of people in all of your categories? Which types do you "go for" and why?

Or am I just totally fucked up and cute and hot are the same thing? Is that why the Olsen twins were sex symbols from like the time they were two?

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