April 25th, 2005


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01:34 am - on the appeal of pedophilliac pop stars (round 2.)
Once upon a time, in fact, just under 2 years ago, I made reference to the fact that I understood why a 14 year old girl would want to fuck R. Kelly.. I never really got into why though. And really, I haven't much thought about R. in the intervening time. But today, while driving to Loews to get some supplies for the perpetual rebuilding of my house, I was listening to the radio when WAMO decided to drop the new R. Kelly track, Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 1 of 5). Listening to it, I almost died.

You know what it is that I like about R? It's the honesty. Pure and unapologetic. R. Kelly knows what he is and doesn't care. I think that's the appeal. The 14 year old girl is a sexual creature. But she isn't allowed to be. We expect it of the 14 year old boy, his hormones are out of control. Hopefully he'll release some of that aggression on the football field or something. But the 14 year old girl, well, hopefully going to church and maybe a good hobby will help her keep her legs closed. Perhaps some home economics? Maybe needlepoint? Oh, how about cooking? How could a young impressionable girl get in trouble baking cookies in her own kitchen. And that's where it happens. Sweet little Cindy Lou is over there minding her own business and stirring the a bowl of cookie dough, when here comes R. Kelly singing a song telling her exactly how he's gonna fuck her in that very kitchen. And there you go, she's having fantasies. By chance she meets R. one day, and BAM! She just can't help herself. It might not just happen. Maybe Cindy Lou is a good girl. She does try so hard to be good. But then R. hits her up with a little taste of the remix. Poor Cindy Lou doesn't stand a chance. Her hymen explodes right there, and she is overcome with her carnal urges. And R? He's only human. What's he to do? He's there watching a young girl's sudden blossoming into womanhood right there before him. Like watching the Quickening! We shouldn't condemn R. for the 20-some-odd underaged girls he's had sex with. We should congratulate him on the thousands he has successfully resisted.

But this new song, trapped in the closet. I'm liking this. It shows growth on R's part. Like all good artists, R. tells a story with his work. But for so long he'd been stuck on the same story. R. Kelly tells you there's nothing wrong with fucking a 14 year old girl.. Here is how you fuck a 14 year old girl in a car. Here is how you fuck a 14 year old girl in the kitchen. Here is how you fuck 14 year old girl in a hotel. Nobody has to know you're fucking a 14 year old girl. But not this time. This song isn't about fucking. This song is about the morning after you fucked some girl who's name you don't remember. R. has grown as an artist. Furthermore, carefully listening to the lyrics, you'll find that R. has grown as a human being. This girl isn't fourteen. No no no, R. explicitly points out that not only is this girl legal, she's actually married. The message of the song? Ain't nothin wrong with a little bump 'n grind with some girl you don't know, just try not to fall asleep and stay over, and if you do, make sure you have your gun just in case you have to hide in the closet when her husband comes home and he finds you there. How awesome is that? Sleep with underaged girls, have an affair with a married woman, cheat on your wife. Write songs about it!

I can't believe this idiot gets any pussy at all.

And yet he does. Why? Because there's nothing on this earth so sexy as a dumbass celebrity. Paris Hilton has taught us that you don't need talent, all you need is the a penchant for being slutty and a history of making very poor judgement calls. Maybe that's what kept me from being famous. I was plenty slutty, I had no remarkable talents, but I was just too damn smart. Damn I have the worst luck. Seriously though, a new question in my on-going investigation on what makes someone attractive. We've talked about the appeal of the bad boy, and the pretty boy. We've talked about hot vs. cute. This time I am wondering about the appeal of stupid. I think probably most of my readers are likely to say that stupidity is a turn off. But really, think about it? Is there anything appealing about a dumb girl or guy? While writing this, I saw a commercial for TrimSpa, with Anna Nicole Smith, I actually had the briefest fleeting "damn, I'd do her" thought before being repulsed by the simpleton personality she exhibits when she speaks. So yeah, she may not be my type, but Anna is popular. She is a sex symbol. As are Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, and Fabio. So is there something hot about being dumb? Or can you just be so hot that its easy to overlook dumb?

Or is it just ok to want to have sex with 14 year old girls and then pee on them?

Current Mood: [mood icon] sleepy
Current Music: Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 1) by R. Kelly

(54 comments | Leave a comment)

 
on the appeal of pedophilliac pop stars (round 2.) - graffiti.maverick

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Comments:


[User Picture]From: katieboyd Date: April 24th, 2005 - 11:53 pm (Link)
Well, the easiest conclusion to come to is that it's about your own ego. A stupid person might be impressed by all the things you know that they don't, and which smart people will be way past caring about. Sometimes, less intelligent people around you make you feel smarter, and so better about yourself?

Of course, the easiest conclusion is not necessarily the right one. First thing I can think of that makes sense, though.

To me, though, this would get rather boring rather quickly.
[User Picture]From: jetgrrl01 Date: April 25th, 2005 - 04:48 am (Link)
I never understood the Keanu Reaves thing. He seems dumber than a rock and I just can't think he's atrractive.
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:05 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:08 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: jameel Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:37 am (Link)
Stupid is a major turn-off, but, sometimes, my groin disagrees.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:47 am (Link)
that's my point... "your minds telling you no, but your body... your body's telling you yessssssss-ah! You don't see nothing wrong with a little bump-n-grind..."

The question is why?
From: beststephi Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:49 am (Link)
From: jameel Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:02 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:38 am (Link)
From: jameel Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:42 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:49 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:37 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: nemesisn4sa Date: April 25th, 2005 - 05:56 am (Link)
intelligence is the number one thing that attracts me to a person. so, i don't understand the whole dumb=sexy thing. at all.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 06:40 am (Link)
but is lack of intelligence a deal breaker? If a guy is stupid, but cute and sweet and whatnot and perfect in every other way, do you still pass him up? What about for non relationships? Is Fabio "doable" despite his apparent total lack of intelligence, personality or any substance whatsoever other than his abs?
From: marmal8 Date: April 25th, 2005 - 07:41 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 08:25 am (Link)
From: marmal8 Date: April 25th, 2005 - 08:57 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:18 am (Link)
From: marmal8 Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:31 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:53 am (Link)
From: marmal8 Date: April 25th, 2005 - 01:18 pm (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:00 pm (Link)
From: nemesisn4sa Date: April 25th, 2005 - 07:42 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 08:40 am (Link)
From: nemesisn4sa Date: April 25th, 2005 - 09:20 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:21 am (Link)
From: nemesisn4sa Date: April 25th, 2005 - 01:08 pm (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:01 pm (Link)
From: nemesisn4sa Date: April 26th, 2005 - 09:00 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 26th, 2005 - 01:02 pm (Link)
[User Picture]From: suicideking Date: April 25th, 2005 - 08:09 am (Link)
To quote my good friend avphibes, " I'd never let a little dumb get in the way of a lot of hot."

What it comes down to is what you are looking for. If you want the relationship to last about 45 mintues and be mostly horizontal, then how inteligent they are doesn't play into it. If you are looking to get to know someone, then dumb as a stick ain't gunna cut it.

Just cuz someone is brutally stupid doesn't mean they don't take a nice photo.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 08:44 am (Link)
So you're saying, stupidity isn't attractive, but for a one-night-stand, its not a deal breaker, either? See, I dunno... as colored as my past is, I haven't ever had a pure sexual only 45 minute, in and out and never see them again experience, or maybe I'd feel different. Even one-night-stands tend to last at least a few hours. And the sex is only a part of that, generally you have to spend some time interacting both before and after, and there needs to be a certain amount of intelligence to not get on my nerves during that time.
From: suicideking Date: April 25th, 2005 - 09:15 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:31 am (Link)
From: suicideking Date: April 25th, 2005 - 10:58 am (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:06 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: pointparker Date: April 25th, 2005 - 01:40 pm (Link)
I personally do not think that men are attractive if they're dumb. It could be a turn off, but on the other hand, I don't think I'd ever date someone much smarter than me. (And NO I'm not saying my bf is dumb.) Any very very smart guy i know always feels the need to correct everyone. Smart people like that are just annoying.

I can see why guys would be attracted to dumb girls though. I guess dumb girls are cute - to a point.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: April 25th, 2005 - 02:11 pm (Link)
I don't know, I think that any really smart person would realize they're being annoying when they correct people and wouldn't do it to that point.
From: pointparker Date: April 25th, 2005 - 03:03 pm (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:34 pm (Link)
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:02 pm (Link)
From: pointparker Date: April 26th, 2005 - 08:04 am (Link)
From: nckd Date: April 25th, 2005 - 02:20 pm (Link)
I think the perceived attractiveness of someone changes depending on their intelligence, at least for me. If they're interesting, you can look past imperfections, even redefine them as cute. If they come across as a total dumbass when you talk to them, you start to notice anything that's wrong with them physically, as well as intellectually.

At least, that's how it works for me.

(On the subject of R.Kelly, though, I find it a mystery why people think his songs are sexy. That kitchen song? So, so unsexy. He's got a good voice and all, but the lyrics -- ugh.)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:05 pm (Link)
heh, you think the kitchen song is unsexy, wait til you here the new joint. If I didn't know better, I'd totally think it was an SNL skit that was going on 2 minutes too long. Its totally ridiculous. The only thing that makes it funny is that it isn't supposed to be a joke. He's seriously trying to write a song there.
[User Picture]From: limpingpigeon Date: April 25th, 2005 - 02:26 pm (Link)
Dumb is definitely a turn-off for me. Even extremely good-looking dumb guys just don't do anything for me. I can be attracted to them initially, but if I find I can't have an intelligent conversation with someone, the most aesthetically pleasing appearance possible doesn't mean squat.

Eye candy really isn't much more than eye candy to me, I guess.

And, quite frankly, I never really thought Fabio was even that good-looking.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:06 pm (Link)
Hmmm, so how dumb is too dumb? If these things can even be quantified?
[User Picture]From: mamarayne Date: April 25th, 2005 - 03:02 pm (Link)

You know my contempt for stupidity...

... ignorance can be excused; there is no excuse for stupidity. R. Kelly must be the most stupid "artist" out there; proven by this very song. I intend to do a survey of girls aged 12 - 16 (the "B" Girls), I'll let you know their opinions. I'll be very disappointed if they find the R. Kelly of this song the least bit desirable.
[User Picture]From: mamarayne Date: April 25th, 2005 - 03:33 pm (Link)

Re: You know my contempt for stupidity...

Survey completed... 5 females. 5 questions: 1. Have you heard the song? 2. Did you like the song? 3. Do you like R. Kelly? 4. Hot or Not?

Female age 12: 1) Yep 2) No opinion 3) Don't really listen to him 4) Don't even know what he looks like
Female age 14: 1) Yes 2) Like it 3) Like him, but don't know why 4) He's ok, I guess
Female age 16: 1) Yes 2) Like it 3) Like his music 4) NO he's not Hot!
Female age 30-40: 1) Yes 2) Song is a trip - strange story to make a song about 3) Used to like him, but lost respect 4) NOT
Female age 30-40: 1) Yes 2) Hate it, must be really desparate for song ideas 3) Like some of his music, some not so much 4) Definitely Not

Thankfully none of them thought he was Hot; I'll leave any other interpretations to you.
From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:09 pm (Link)

Re: You know my contempt for stupidity...

From: mamarayne Date: April 26th, 2005 - 07:45 am (Link)

Re: You know my contempt for stupidity...

From: chrismaverick Date: April 26th, 2005 - 01:03 pm (Link)

Re: You know my contempt for stupidity...

From: bettybleu Date: April 25th, 2005 - 04:25 pm (Link)

here's another stupid celeb!

DMX...he lives in beford/katonah new york a really nice rich suburb of new york but he feels every 3 months he must go and car jack a car get arrested and go to jail again....it happens every 3 months like clock work whot the f? he has so much money why not just buy another car...also his mansion is right next door to martha stewarts house....hmmm...who do you think is the bad influence here?
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: April 25th, 2005 - 11:11 pm (Link)

Re: here's another stupid celeb!

why not? Sometimes I guess you just get bored. You need to pick up a hobby. Maybe something that reminds you of the old days. I feel nostalgic I might read some old stuff I wrote or watch an old movie. DMX feels nostalgic, he boosts a Lexus. He probably accepts that he'll get caught, do a little time, and buy his way out. What's the worst that can happen to him?
From: chrismaverick Date: April 26th, 2005 - 07:33 am (Link)

Re: here's another stupid celeb!

 

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