May 5th, 2005


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01:30 pm - on dumb ass fortune cookies...
What the hell?

The fortune that I got with my lunch today reads:

"As a cure for worry, work is better than whiskey."


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...


...


...


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Bullshit!

Current Mood: [mood icon] thirsty
Current Music: Ice Cream Castles by Morris Day and the Mother Fuckin' Time

(29 comments | Leave a comment)

 
on dumb ass fortune cookies... - graffiti.maverick

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Comments:


[User Picture]From: eriktheplaid Date: May 5th, 2005 - 10:34 am (Link)

Better Whiskey

Clearly, they've been sipping the wrong whiskey.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:14 am (Link)

Re: Better Whiskey

I've had the wrong whiskey before. It's still better than work.
[User Picture]From: jeremiahblatz Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:19 am (Link)

Re: Better Whiskey

Ole Gandada don't love you.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:48 am (Link)

Re: Better Whiskey

Jack Daniels hates me too... still better than work...
From: jeremiahblatz Date: May 5th, 2005 - 12:28 pm (Link)

Re: Better Whiskey

From: (Anonymous) Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:19 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:42 am (Link)

Re: Better Whiskey

that's all I'm sayin'...
[User Picture]From: painofsalvation Date: May 5th, 2005 - 10:36 am (Link)
you know, you got to love when a crackhead fills out a fortune cookie.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:14 am (Link)
just out of curiosity... who are you?
[User Picture]From: painofsalvation Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:15 am (Link)
hey, I was just looking through live journal and that one caught my attention.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:41 am (Link)
that's fine. I'm just wondering who you are. You seem to have a lot of my friends listed and none of us know who you are. Its no big deal. I'm just curious.
[User Picture]From: painofsalvation Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:43 am (Link)
yeah, my name's Sean and it's okay.
[User Picture]From: jameel Date: May 5th, 2005 - 10:41 am (Link)
That's a god-damned lie!
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:15 am (Link)
damn skippy...
[User Picture]From: nemesisn4sa Date: May 5th, 2005 - 10:41 am (Link)
my favorite fortune ever was one that read:

this biscuit suits my taste.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:36 am (Link)
I can't remember the specifics of one fortune cookie. I always like to add "in bed" to the end of any fortune cookie. It makes for fun reading. But I actually got one once that basically amounted to "you are a great lover" or something like that. Kinda took the fun out of it.
[User Picture]From: nemesisn4sa Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:44 am (Link)
adding "in bed" to the one you got makes it make sense.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:50 am (Link)
but without whiskey, how do you get into bed?
[User Picture]From: inmostlight Date: May 5th, 2005 - 10:42 am (Link)
I think it depends on the job. If my job were to write fortune cookie fortunes, I think that'd come close to being a whiskey substitute.

And probably a lot more fun with whiskey, too.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:38 am (Link)
the work that is more fun than whiskey is not the true work.

Any job would be more fun with whiskey. Hmmm... I wonder if there's a wine & spirits around here somewhere.
[User Picture]From: inmostlight Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:55 am (Link)
Jobs that are probably more fun than whiskey:

* Whiskey quality assurance taste tester.
* Scurvy pirate.
* Billionaire playboy.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 12:26 pm (Link)
whiskey QA would imply you had to drink bad whiskey, too. So just drinking whiskey would be better than going to work.

The others are ways of life, now "work."

Being a scurvy pirate is fun, sure the looting, pillaging and raping part. But you also have the not so fun part where you have to plot the course and swab the deck.

Same with billionaire playboy. You have the obvious fringe benefits of fine food and sex with supermodels and actresses, but then you have to deal with all the training, all night patrols and people shooting at you while you wear your batsuit.
[User Picture]From: gigglefaerie Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:13 am (Link)
Where is the universe could work possibly be better than whiskey?
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:40 am (Link)
some weird bizarro world, I guess...

Haven't talked to you in a while... how's it going?
From: (Anonymous) Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:20 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:39 am (Link)

Re: another

it all depends on whether you are trying to bind a rail road or mend a sock.
[User Picture]From: limpingpigeon Date: May 5th, 2005 - 11:49 am (Link)
I never take advice from something I'm about to eat anyway.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 5th, 2005 - 12:27 pm (Link)
I dunno, when something I am about to eat starts talking, I think its generally a good idea to at least pause and pay attention for a moment.
[User Picture]From: limpingpigeon Date: May 5th, 2005 - 03:15 pm (Link)
I suppose. I guess there's always a chance it's going to say "if you set me free instead of eating me, I'll grant you a wish!"
[User Picture]From: wooble Date: May 7th, 2005 - 10:35 am (Link)
It was supposed to say "As a cure for worry, tequila is better than whiskey."

Then some fortune cookie editor decided it would be better with alliteration, and ruined it. Happens all the time.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: May 7th, 2005 - 11:36 pm (Link)
ah... ok then... makes perfect sense.
 

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