Clearly, they've been sipping the wrong whiskey.

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I've had the wrong whiskey before. It's still better than work.

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Ole Gandada don't love you.

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Jack Daniels hates me too... still better than work...

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that's all I'm sayin'...

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you know, you got to love when a crackhead fills out a fortune cookie.

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just out of curiosity... who are you?

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hey, I was just looking through live journal and that one caught my attention.

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that's fine. I'm just wondering who you are. You seem to have a lot of my friends listed and none of us know who you are. Its no big deal. I'm just curious.

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yeah, my name's Sean and it's okay.

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That's a god-damned lie!

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damn skippy...

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my favorite fortune ever was one that read:

this biscuit suits my taste.

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I can't remember the specifics of one fortune cookie. I always like to add "in bed" to the end of any fortune cookie. It makes for fun reading. But I actually got one once that basically amounted to "you are a great lover" or something like that. Kinda took the fun out of it.

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adding "in bed" to the one you got makes it make sense.

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but without whiskey, how do you get into bed?

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I think it depends on the job. If my job were to write fortune cookie fortunes, I think that'd come close to being a whiskey substitute.

And probably a lot more fun with whiskey, too.

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the work that is more fun than whiskey is not the true work.

Any job would be more fun with whiskey. Hmmm... I wonder if there's a wine & spirits around here somewhere.

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Jobs that are probably more fun than whiskey:

* Whiskey quality assurance taste tester.
* Scurvy pirate.
* Billionaire playboy.

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whiskey QA would imply you had to drink bad whiskey, too. So just drinking whiskey would be better than going to work.

The others are ways of life, now "work."

Being a scurvy pirate is fun, sure the looting, pillaging and raping part. But you also have the not so fun part where you have to plot the course and swab the deck.

Same with billionaire playboy. You have the obvious fringe benefits of fine food and sex with supermodels and actresses, but then you have to deal with all the training, all night patrols and people shooting at you while you wear your batsuit.

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Where is the universe could work possibly be better than whiskey?

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some weird bizarro world, I guess...

Haven't talked to you in a while... how's it going?

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it all depends on whether you are trying to bind a rail road or mend a sock.

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I never take advice from something I'm about to eat anyway.

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I dunno, when something I am about to eat starts talking, I think its generally a good idea to at least pause and pay attention for a moment.

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I suppose. I guess there's always a chance it's going to say "if you set me free instead of eating me, I'll grant you a wish!"

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It was supposed to say "As a cure for worry, tequila is better than whiskey."

Then some fortune cookie editor decided it would be better with alliteration, and ruined it. Happens all the time.

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ah... ok then... makes perfect sense.

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