Mav (chrismaverick) wrote,

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on Howard Stern, haircuts and homosexuality...

So I'm at work trying to program something or other (really, its like way technical, and stuff) and I'm listening to the Howard Stern Show on my radio shark. (the radio shark is a USB radio that plugs into your computer and does Time Shift recording, sort of like TiVo. It's pretty damn cool). I was out of commercial skipping buffer, so I was just listening to the commercials when one came on for Borick's Haircare. The commercial stars a kid (maybe 6-8, by his voice and white as the Cleavers), just before his first day of school and his dad.

Text transcribed for your enjoyment:

Kid: Dad?
Dad: What's wrong partner?
Kid: I don't want to go to school. I think it'll be too hard.
Dad: But all of your friends are there, what will you do all day?
Kid: I could go to your office with you. I'm an excellent stapler.
Dad: I'm sure you are. Listen partner, schools really fun. Tell you what, tomorrow you and I will go to Borick's and get a great hair cut!
Kid: That's where Mom takes me!
Dad: Yep, but this will be just us boys!
Kid(pouting): But I have soccer practice tomorrow, Dad.
Dad(reassuring):That's alright, we can just walk right in there and be out in no time.
Kid(excited): LIKE COWBOYS!
Dad: Like cowboys.
Kid: Is it expensive?
Dad: Not at all.
Kid: I have 48 cents. You want it, Dad?
Dad: HAHAHA! I've got you covered on this one, pal.
Kid: Now I can't wait!
Dad: For your haircut?
Kid: Yeah! And for school!

Allow me to issue a big "WHAT THE FUCK?" here. What self-respecting six year old boy likes getting a haircut. Getting a haircut is about the most embarrassing thing that can happen to you when you're six. Clearly this kid is gay. Worse than gay. He's a faggot. You know why? Because when you're six, you don't know what "faggot" means. You just know it's something mean to call someone when you want to pick on them. And what better reason to pick on someone than them having a new haircut.

Am I alone here? When I was a kid, that was pretty much the deal. Haircuts were bad. Was this just a black thing? I don't think so, because I'm pretty sure the white boys I knew felt the same and were teased too. Was it just a boy thing? Did it go away after the 70s? I'm pretty sure it didn't. So that's what I want to know. Did you hate getting haircuts when you were a kid? When did you stop caring? Do you still care? Girls too. It seems like girls don't care as much. And several of you have kids, blk, qiika, whoever, how do your kids feel about getting haircuts?

Of course, now the show is back on and they're talking about getting high playing the choking game. I mean, that makes sense.

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