before and after her excessive weight loss.
So apparently Lindsay Lohan has admitted in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair that she has been suffering from bulimia for the last year or so. This is news that should surprise exactly no one who has an IQ over 12 and is blessed with even partially functional eyesight.
She says she didn't really realize how bad things had gotten until Saturday Night Live producer, Lorne Michaels staged an intervention for her following her hosting of the show last May. She then says that when she watched the show later she was appalled at how disgusting she looked.
Ok, so that brings me to my point. How does that happen? To be completely frank and un-PC (and maybe incorrect, as I'm just spitballing here), I have to believe that at its essence eating disorders are about vanity. How do you not notice that you are skin and bones until someone says "hey, you look like shit!" and then all of a sudden you say, "oh wow, you're right! I do!"
I don't mean to be as rude as that probably sounds. I don't even mean to say that vanity is a bad thing. I have no problem with a person caring how they look. I have no problem with wanting to lose weight. I have no problem with a person wanting to be hot. I want to be hot. And, its totally ok to not give a shit about what you weigh too. But if you're so obsessed with what you weigh and how you look that you develop an eating disorder, wouldn't you be looking in the mirror a lot? My understanding is that anorexics and bulimics are constantly checking out their bodies. So doesn't there have to be a point where you stop hating yourself for being too fat and start hating yourself for being too skinny? Wouldn't someone that obsessed either realize it without being told so by a TV sketch comedy producer? And if not, wouldn't they still believe its not a problem even after said producer pointed it out?
Ok, so I'm a guy. I may be a guy who is charming, loves fashion, shopping and John Cusack movies, but I'm still a boy. I have a penis. So that pretty much makes me a pig (proof by lack of counterexample, QED). As a piggish boy, I like to see hot girls. Boys tastes do run the gambit a bit, but I'll admit I actually kinda have a thing for petite girls. Not quite as skinny as some guys like their girls, but I do like skinny. But you know what guys also like. Almost unilaterally, guys (at least hetero ones) like a nice pair of boobies. Something that Lindsay was blessed with about a million times over (she even made fun of them quite a bit on her first SNL appearance). She totally lost those in her illness. Secondly, boys like fucking hot girls. A requirement for hot being that when doing said fucking, they prefer for the girl not to be so fragile that she breaks in half during the act. Something I would have been terrified of happening to Lindsay in her rail thin days (you know, cuz I'm just that much of a stud in the sack, and stuff). Am I right guys?
But I've also read a lot of LJs and blogs in the pro-ana camp, and they seem to really like that look. So maybe girls have a different idea of hotness than boys. Maybe that explains why Mick Jagger, in all his emaciated glory, is a sex symbol.
But even still, I guess I sort of get anorexia. I get being so obsessed with having the perfect body that you starve yourself. I get that maybe eventually you lose sight of your goal, and continue to starve yourself past the point where you still think you're fat even though there are crack whores on the corner saying "damn girl, you need to eat something!" I don't see how someone gets there, but I get that they could.
What I don't get is bulimia. What happens to a person that makes them think its a good idea to eat something and then intentionally throw it up. Why bother eating in the first place. If you're that obsessed I can see starving yourself. But at what point do you say, I'm going to eat and then get rid of it? Why? Is it just lack of willpower to starve? Is there some logic behind it?
You see, there's another thing about guys. For the most part we don't like girls who puke. Not even just girls who puke intentionally. We don't like girls who puke at all. In fact, when we see a girl that we think is hot, we prefer to think that she has no actual messy biological functions at all. She doesn't have a period. She doesn't go to the bathroom. Hell, we like to believe she doesn't even sweat (outside of the aforementioned drill press like banging that I might be giving her). So vomiting is pretty much right out the fucking door. Again guys, am I right? So again, what makes a girl think that its sexy?
Maybe its not guys. Is that the thing? Like I was saying earlier, is this beyond "looking sexy for the boys?" Does the bulimic really think that no one would ever find out? Or does she just not think the boys would care? How does she make that jump in the first place? If anyone has any insight, I'd love to hear it. Oh, and anonymous comments are allowed on this post if you want to hide. But if you do, please check back, because I'm sure that I'm going to want to ask followup questions to anyone who has comments here at all.