July 7th, 2006

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12:35 am - on appropriate apparel...

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on appropriate apparel... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 7th, 2006 - 07:31 pm (Link)
While it is pretty easy to wear a short skirt, for people with weight issues it is extremely difficult to look good in that short skirt. I have a colleague who recently has lost a lot of weight (at least 50 lbs). We compliment her all the time. Constantly. She loves it. Not in a hooting sort of way, in a genuine way. For many people looking good is an accomplishment.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: July 7th, 2006 - 07:52 pm (Link)
No, I wasn't saying you can't be proud of your looks! I was saying that I value looking good less than other things because it's less effort for me. If I had put a lot of effort into losing weight, I would be proud of myself too!
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:10 pm (Link)
I didn't say you said...! I agree with Mav that the two are not mutually exclusive. I do think a lot of our valuing looks is not on the conscious level. I know I try to not care about looks, but I do react differently to...less model-like...people.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:31 pm (Link)
Oops. sorry. Very confusing. So now you're saying they are mutually exclusive values, since they're at different levels of consciousness..? I guess I could see that, as applying to others (not oneself).
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:40 pm (Link)
I don't think being at different levels of consciousness makes them mutually exclusive. I don't think they have anything to do with one another. Whether I value intelligence really has nothing to do with whether I value looks. Whether I value one more than the other...I don't like to make top ten lists and rank things. I don't see the utility in it.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:28 pm (Link)
but, if its not much effort, why not do it? (i'm not talking about you specifically, but feel free to answer for yourself)

The comfort argument you make elsewhere is certainly an important one, but I mean beyond that. There is a very real feeling that "I don't want people to pay attention to my looks" but that doesn't address the point that I and jacquez are making above. People are going to pay attention. And if that's the case, then shouldn't you use that to your advantage instead of having it work to your disadvantage?
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:41 pm (Link)
I don't think that for my job, looks matter as much as for probably most other jobs, where you meet more people. So I would rather spend the extra time sleeping or getting into work earlier than doing the extra grooming. I might put more effort into grooming if I thought it would boost me in my career. In fact, I probably would, given that I do tend to dress better and wear makeup when I go to conferences.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: July 7th, 2006 - 09:19 pm (Link)
see, that's a different point of view. And that rationale makes perfect sense to me. This is quite different than what I was getting at about "should it matter" and "should I dress down to make people pay more attention to me."

Lately you've been paying a lot more attention to fashion and that has been making you both, look much sexier and not stick out as much as you did when you were always trying to defeminize yourself at work. And be honest, aren't you at least a little happier because of it? Don't you feel better about yourself? There was nothing wrong with you before, but doesn't "feeling" actively pretty, make you feel a little more right?
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 7th, 2006 - 08:43 pm (Link)
Just the other day I was thinking I need to make a t-shirt that says "Stop looking at me." Because I'm tired of people looking at me. Not people that are going to be an advantage or disadvantage. Just people on the street.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: July 7th, 2006 - 09:15 pm (Link)
and you acknowledge of course that that's going to make people look at you more, right? And not take you as seriously as they otherwise might.

See, that's kinda my point (to a less silly degree) with the idea of deminizing your appearance.
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 7th, 2006 - 09:50 pm (Link)
Of course it will.

I don't really care how seriously random people I pass on the street take me. It's not an issue.

I don't think it's silly that I want people to stop looking at me. It's very serious. Everyone needs to get the hell away from me. I hate you all. Die die die!
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: July 8th, 2006 - 07:35 am (Link)
you're going to feel really really bad if I die in the middle of the night.
[User Picture]From: marmal8 Date: July 8th, 2006 - 04:57 pm (Link)
Maybe I would if I had an exaggerated sense of my own importance, but I don't. I'd ask if you're dead, but that's just setting myself up.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: July 8th, 2006 - 05:08 pm (Link)
luckily, I managed to pull through... no thanx to you...

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