August 24th, 2006

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08:45 am - on Hooters and hypocrisy...

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on Hooters and hypocrisy... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: sonbanon Date: August 25th, 2006 - 12:26 am (Link)
I like how upfront you are; it's good to know you are real and honest.

At one point in my life, I'd probably be angry and irritated by your comments because your comments are exactly why there is so much female angst music and art out there :p

Both genders can be sexist, sure, against both (all?) genders. I am of the firm belief, however, that it's male driven, that because men ogle and drool over the 110lb DD-cup woman, that other women feel they need to keep up. (Not all, but some.) It's hurtful and a damn shame. If women just wanted to be fucked (because, as you say, men will fuck anything consenting--and some will even fuck without consent, but that's a different issue), none of this would exist. I don't believe women just want to be fucked; they want to be admired and appreciated. When a man is out there appreciating the 110lb DD-cup and you aren't in that category, it breeds competition and leads to an unhealthy self-image.

There's no resolution on this: I don't think it will ever change, and I'm not even sure it should because to some degree, the competition is healthy and necessary. What needs to change is how men treat women (maybe not change, but what should be in place always is respect, regardless of the cup size) and how women feel about themselves, regardless of how they look. I don't know how to make that happen on a more widespread basis. As an aside note, it will be interesting to see what the supposed increase in obesity does to change what is most admired.

This isn't a new argument you are hearing, I'm sure.

For the record, I don't think Hooters is sexist, I don't have an issue with any man--including any man I'm involved with--going there, looking at porn, visiting strip clubs, etc. What I think is sexist is the attitude about it, what it breeds. If it weren't Hooters or a nudey bar or a porno mag, it would be a painting, or a statue, or something else. What matters is that I know I'm loved for who I am and appreciated for how I look....

I, btw, was 110lbs most of my adult life and not DD, but I think I've got a nice rack. I will put this in caps because it counts: I WAS TREATED MUCH DIFFERENTLY BY MEN THEN THAN I AM NOW. Perhaps age comes into play, too. Perhaps they smell my self-esteem, which was in some ways heartier then and in some ways heartier now but has dwindled some about my appearance? Regardless, what matters to me are the people who love me all the same because they love and appreciate me, not my hip to waist to boob ratio. My wish is for all women to have that, and to some degree, I think that needs to start with how men act.

*off my soapbox* :)
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: August 25th, 2006 - 02:29 pm (Link)
don't get me wrong. I'm not saying men are innocent. It's my general opinion that people in tend to suck except when providing specific examples to the contrary. Also, I tend to exaggerate in the name of humor quite often here. For instance, men don't just want women for what's between their legs. That's an exaggeration. Sometimes they need someone to cook dinner too. ;-)

Anyway, yes, I acknowledge that you were probably treated differently being skinny with a nice rack than you are being heavier (with a nice rack... I'm a boy... I notice). And well you should be. People celebrate that which is "above average." They do that with all things. Beauty is just one of them. Say you were morbidly obese. Does that make you any less lovable? I'd say no. Say you were mentally retarded. Are you less lovable? I say no again. What about if you throw like a girl? No. But saying that the 110 lb. DD girl can't make a living off her "gifts" or that she shouldn't be admired them is akin to saying that Carl Sagan or Ben Rothlisberger shouldn't be admired for their gifts. I think Carmen Electra is one of the hottest women on the planet. They haven't even invented names for all of the deviant things I'd like to do in the bedroom with her. But does that mean that a woman needs to look like Carmen to feel good about herself (or for me to love her). I say no. She may feel different, but there's nothing I can really do about that. I mean, I can be reassuring and such, but at the end of the day, its a personal self-esteem issue that I just can't really control.

That's what I meant about women being sexist. For as shallow as we pretend men are and enlightened as we pretend women are (stereotypically), men don't (stereotypically) get jealous of such things. Its women who (stereotypically) do. And for the most part that jealousy is centered around the visual. As I said before, at the end of the day its not just visuals (or cooking as I joked) that make up a person. I love Steph for a countless variety of reasons, and if I said how she looks wasn't part of that, I'd be lying. But just because I might look at Carmen Electra, a Playboy Playmate, a Hooters girl or you and think "damn, she's hot!" that doesn't actually effect Steph's (or any other women's) hotness rating in the slightest. Any more than it makes Steph any stupider, less creative, or less atheletic that I admire a great writer, or actor or football player. The competition only exists in her mind.

(By the way, Steph, I'm only using you as an example because you happen to be my SO and I am speaking. I don't mean to call you out any more specifically than any other (stereotypical) woman)

Curiously, I don't think it plays out as much in the reverse gender situation. I know Steph thinks Johnny Depp is hot, and despite how I pretend to feel, it doesn't really bother me. I may think she's delusional, but I'm not "jealous" of him. And I wouldn't be jealous or threatened by her eating at "Cocks" either.

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