August 30th, 2006


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11:36 pm - on preparing for the apocalypse...

8-17-06
Originally uploaded by chrismaverick.
I've been paying a lot of attention to Flickr and my 365 Days project the last week or so and haven't been watching LJ as closely as I probably should. So if I missed anything really big or important that you expected me to comment on, you should probably tell me. Sorry.

So anyway, I've been noticing a trend lately. There's been a lot of talk about the end of the world. I mean, granted there's always talk of the end of the world, but I mean beyond inbred kooks with an IQ of 40 standing on the street corner with a bible in one hand and a picket sign in the other waiting to be raptured up into the sky. I mean I'm starting to notice honest to goodness signs.

It all started a few months ago, when Al Gore, bored with the internet, decided to invent Global Warming. Al might not be president, but you have to respect a guy who basically makes a powerpoint presentation, films himself giving it with a handheld camcorder and releases it and people still pay 9 bucks to go see it.

But it didn't stop with Al. Just tonight on TV there was a 20/20 and a Southpark on at the same time heralding the end of the world. As well as news programs on each network talking about the next great weather pattern that will wreak havoc on our nation as well as Wheel of Fortune warning us to be prepared because Katrina could happen again. That was all tonight. Like since I've been home from work. Yes. Wheel of Fortune.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Maybe I'm a visionary, maybe my mind is just spinning from reading too many Ultimate X-men comic books and waiting for Heroes to start on NBC this fall. But I think the world may be changing. Hear me out.

jameel and I have long spouted about the power of Bovine Growth Hormone creating a race of superhuman beings, but what if its more than that. What if BGH isn't just some happy side-effect of a generous fast-food industry. Maybe its nature's way of preparing us for things to come. Perhaps the world knows that being built with an adamhughesian frame will make us better able to survive in a post-human environment. Perhaps evolution is simply guiding us so that we can make the transition to Homo Sapien Superior. HOVA does work in mysterious ways. And as sure as I know that Jigga is the Supreme Being in the universe, I am quite certain that if he were to evolve the species, it would be toward men with prison muscles and women with tiny waists and big boobs and asses. For God-MC so loved the world...

Anyway, so say the world is changing. Through the consumption of fast food, the erosion of the ozone layer, man-waged world war, the detonation of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons and maybe a stray comet ramming into the planet, its pretty clear that we are on the cusp of the next great phase in terran history. If I've learned anything in the last 32 years of addiction to TV, movies and comic books, its that there are basically three ways that this can all go down.

1) Gradually over the next several years more or more people begin to emerge with posthuman mutant abilities. The world will initially hate and fear them as they do any minority and will attempt to cast them out of society and destroy them. However as darwinian evolution will basically favor these children of the atom over the modern human unilaterally, they will eventually inherit the earth.

2) There will be a great war over religion, or politics, or oil, or snakes on a plane and someone will eventually release a power weapon of mass destruction. This will cause a chain reaction of weapon releases and natural disasters that will wreak havoc with the planet. The weak will perish but the strong will regroup, relocating to remote locations donning leather, metal and laytex and modifying vehicles for combat in a world at war where might makes right and the victor will eventually inherit the earth.

3) Pluto, no longer accepted as a planet falls out of orbit, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. Man's civilization is cast in ruin. Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn,a strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. A man's worth is now judged by the speed of his blade and freedom is the most valuable commodity. Eventually, the Mok will inherit the earth.

In any case, clearly some changes are a foot. So I ask, how do you think the world will end and are you prepared for it?

In all seriousness, If the world were to be thrown into disarray tomorrow, say, just off the top of my head, a massive hurricane caused flood all but submerges your city and throws life into chaos, do you think you'd be prepared to survive?

And in the wildest restructuring of the world as we know it, would you want to be one of the mutant metahumans or would you prefer to stay as you are. Would you consider mutation a loss of your humanity or would you not care. If you were to be evolved into the next stage of human development, what would you want your powers to be?

Do you think this is all ridiculous or is there any logic to what I've predicted here? [cue the ominous music and the booming Dateline NBC/Movie Trailor voice] COULD IT REALLY HAPPEN?!?!?!?

(25 comments | Leave a comment)

 
on preparing for the apocalypse... - graffiti.maverick

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Comments:


[User Picture]From: lacechenault Date: August 31st, 2006 - 04:10 am (Link)

well

Mark and I are getting married November 11th 2006 and you're invited...


is that big news?
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:44 am (Link)

Re: well

yep, that's big news. Congratulations. I don't know if I'd be able to come or not. Where are you going to do it?
[User Picture]From: lacechenault Date: September 1st, 2006 - 02:22 pm (Link)

Re: well

We're just havning a little thang down at our local coffee house. Nothing big - I am not wearing a wedding gown or anything. I am thinking little wedding, big marriage.
[User Picture]From: lacechenault Date: August 31st, 2006 - 04:34 am (Link)


I know the end will come - it's all about when. I can only hope I am old and don't care anymore.

I watched 20/20 tonight as well....only to see Stephen Hawking. I loves him.

And I don't think I would be prepared. I think if it were an asteroid - I would want to be in the impact zone so I couldn't really see it coming - no real pain. All in an instant sort of thing. I don't want to take on the responsibility of keeping the human race alive...that's just too much to handle.

And I wouldn’t want to know it was ending either. I wouldn’t want anyone to know. One guy on the show said he thought people would all come together and love one another finally – I don’t think so – I think there would be mass rapes, murder, looting – all that, and I don’t want to live through something like that. As you can probably tell, I am a bit of a pessimist.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:49 am (Link)
rape, murder and looting sounds like optimism to me.... umm... never mind....

actually, I think a lot of people feel the way you do. They'd rather just get it overwith. That's not really my style though. I'm all about becoming a post apocalyptic warlord. Really, its what I was born for. FREEDOM!!!!
[User Picture]From: akiramich Date: August 31st, 2006 - 01:23 pm (Link)
Im waiting for an attack from Galactus...
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:50 am (Link)
as an end or are you planning on fighting him off?
[User Picture]From: akiramich Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:53 am (Link)
I dont know that Id fight him. I think Id engage him in a discussion of the friviolity of existance, hoping to distract him before the Fantastic Four showed up and whopped his ass.

OK new question--end of the world scenerio. And all of a sudden a bunch of super heroes really DO show up? Are you pissed or in awe?

[ex. what would you do if a dozen Green Lanterns came flying out of space?]
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 02:11 am (Link)
most likely inspired. I never really wanted crazy reality warping powers. I've always fancied myself more a street level hero. Leave the Galactus chasing to the FF. I'll go take down the Kingpin or Joe Chill.

That said, if the Laterns show up, I so want a ring.
[User Picture]From: jeremiahblatz Date: August 31st, 2006 - 02:18 pm (Link)
Considering where I live, any global catastrophe is more likely to squash me like a bug that it is anyone else.

However, were I to survive, let's see how I would do...
Pros:
Fit & healthy
Handy with a gun
Some knowledge of unarmed combat
Was a boy scout
Can muster determination
Cons:
Gimpy knees
Addicted to teh intertubes
Terrible eyesight

THat last one is pretty terrible, actually. I have a pair of glasses, but no backups. So basically it boils down to whether I can see or not.

Oh, and humanity is overrated. I want my goddamn prehensile tail.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:51 am (Link)
so you're all about the gross deviant mutations right from the jump?
[User Picture]From: dellamorta Date: August 31st, 2006 - 02:30 pm (Link)
Simulations show that evolution occurs in staccato bursts - the environment changes, becoming inhospitable, and creatures drastically alter in the course of only a few generations.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:52 am (Link)
and you don't think we're there now? Or you do?
[User Picture]From: dales Date: August 31st, 2006 - 03:05 pm (Link)
The Ozone Hole isn't gettting worse; international aggrements to limit CFC production are working; although it will still be a long time before it gets back to where it was 50 years ago.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:55 am (Link)
bah! That's just what they want you to believe. You get complacent and you get soft. Al Gore will destroy the ozone layer or die trying, I'm telling you! Be aware!
[User Picture]From: jameel Date: August 31st, 2006 - 05:41 pm (Link)
Shit, dawg, I just want a sunsword.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:57 am (Link)
one of my 365 photos is definitely going to have a sun sword or a light sabre. Originally I was thinking light sabre, but more and more I keep thinking that light sabres are so pedestrian and that the sun sword is the way to go.
[User Picture]From: beststephi Date: August 31st, 2006 - 09:00 pm (Link)
This may sound terrible, but a part of me likes the idea of some a natural catastrophe interrupting my daily existence and literally forcing me to fight for my survival. I think I'd handle that kind of (real) stress ok. Anything but nuclear war or epidemic would do. And any type of mutant ability that makes me better suited to the environment would do, too. Especially the ability to fly (oh, and to turn invisible at will).

And to nitpick, I don't think that BGH can be said to be responsible for evolving us into a sexier species, since it's not affecting our genetics (though it might turn us into one that eats even more fast food).
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 02:03 am (Link)
I dunno , sweetie. No offense, but I don't think you're a little soft for all that. I think you're more the cute slave girl in tatters type that I'll have to come and rescue. Mutant powers might change that for you, I suppose.

And BGH is totally evolving us into a sexier species. I have proof, I tell you!
[User Picture]From: max1975 Date: September 1st, 2006 - 01:34 am (Link)
Don't forget that the earth's magnetic field will flip* in 2012, the same year you and many of your readers become eligible to be elected president.


*as predicted by all sorts of highly respected crackpots
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: September 1st, 2006 - 02:06 am (Link)
you could have at least cited a website to the crackpots or something. I mean at first glance that sounds like a load of hooey... I was looking for things that might actually happen... like a runaway planet hurtling between the earth and the moon.
[User Picture]From: max1975 Date: September 1st, 2006 - 03:35 am (Link)
[User Picture]From: max1975 Date: September 1st, 2006 - 03:36 am (Link)
I mean...I wouldn't just make this shit up.
[User Picture]From: max1975 Date: September 1st, 2006 - 03:37 am (Link)
Also, it's all supposed to go down on my birthday. Maybe I'll have a party.
From: ludimagist Date: September 1st, 2006 - 04:35 pm (Link)
Birthday cataclysms are fun.

The big NYC blackout of a few years ago was the afternoon before and most of the day on my bday.

All the parties on the street were for me!
 

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