That's right. My darling Britney finally made up her mind to leave that no talent gigolo bastard, Kevin Federline.
It wasn't an easy decision for Britney, but it was something she and i talked about at length. She has finally come to the decision that the expectations of the media just aren't important as our happiness together. She is thankful that even through the shambles that her career has become after the K-Fed influence, I still love her and care for her and she is confident that with me by her side she can again become the superstar that she was always meant to be. Luckily she did have a good pre-nup, and we should get by with only paying him off a few million.
Britney is in good spirtis and is preparing to return to work soon. Kevin can fall off of a cliff into hell for all we care.
In this trying time, we ask that you all give Britney and the kids all the privacy that they deserve. Please direct all future questions regarding to the break-up to me, and I will do my best to answer them whenever I'm not busy fornicating with her in the swimming pool full of hundred dollar bills she built for me behind our stately manor.
Oh, also, sadly, I lost all of the elections I ran in yesterday, and whatever problems face our nation before the next election are the faults of all of you people for not getting out to the polls and writing my name in. Hopefully with the power of the Spears fortune behind me, I will be able to run a stellar campaign in '08, and there'll still be time to put me in office so I can correct all the damage that has been done. I only hope it's not too late.
In closing I'd just like to say: I'm RICH, Bitch!!!
Thank you.
Sincerely,
The future Christopher Maverick-Spears
