November 20th, 2007

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02:07 am - on may-december romances and karaoke with strippers...

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on may-december romances and karaoke with strippers... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: lonelocust Date: November 20th, 2007 - 04:20 pm (Link)
See, I think that would be a concern, but not a universal. Certainly a 19-year-old who thinks of themself as a kid and thinks of "adults" as authority figures (and there are certainly a plethora of such 19-year-olds) is probably unhealthy dating the vast majority of 43-year-olds. But I don't think one can assume from just the ages that such a power dynamic is going to exist.

I think power/authority is an important thing to avoid in healthy relationships. For example, I'm very hard-pressed to imagine a situation in which a high school teacher is dating a student of theirs and that is healthy, even if the student is say 18 and the teacher is say 24. I wouldn't find anything weird about a 24-year-old dating an 18-year-old, but I think that high school teachers are presented as and generally understood as authority figures. While I still think it's a little sketchy, I have far fewer concerns about a college student dating a professor while in that person's class. I think that there's far less perception that college teachers are authority figures over their students in the way that high school teachers are. I still think there's some amount of authority figureness going on there, and thus it's sketchy, but a professor who is 40 dating an 18-year-old student gives me far fewer concerns than a high school teacher who is 24 dating an 18-year-old student because of different power dynamics. (But really in such cases, I think if they like each other they should just wait until they're not currently in a student/teacher relationship and then date.)

Uhm... I don't think it's like pedophilia at all. Pedophilia is sexual interest in pre-pubescent persons. Pedophilia is bad (in my mind and I believe in reality) because one who is pre-pubescent does not by definition have developed sexual desires as we know it and MUST be being controlled/pressured by the person with the developed sexual desires. Of course, I refuse to acknowledge the media standard of calling stat rape "pedophilia". Attraction to post-pubescent 16-year-olds is utterly normal.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: November 20th, 2007 - 05:02 pm (Link)
see, there I'm on your side, more or less. I think the moral issue with dating a student, whether in college or in high school is important because there is a power issue. It could go either way. Maybe the professor has undue influence over the student due to position and its unhealthy for the student, or maybe the student bangs the professor so good that it improves the students grades unfairly, which is unhealthy to the professor and unfair to the rest of the kids in the class.

Maybe neither of those things are the true, but in a class setting, the perception that its possible by the other students, I think creates and unhealthy class environment that I think should be avoided.

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