November 20th, 2007

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02:07 am - on may-december romances and karaoke with strippers...

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on may-december romances and karaoke with strippers... - graffiti.maverick — LiveJournal

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[User Picture]From: tetroc Date: November 21st, 2007 - 01:58 pm (Link)
Okay, Mav and I have talked about this at Phantom (the comics shop), and having had some personal experience I feel compelled to respond.

First of all, the age thing just doesn't matter to me. If people click, they click. In the long term there may be problems, but I think we all know couples who are the same age who haven't been able to make a relationship work. Everyone has issues and some times you can work them out and sometimes you can't. Age is one of them.

4-5 years ago I was in a relationship with a girl 20 years younger than me (she turned 21 shortly after we started dating). We both knew it was a "just for now/no long term" kind of thing. We dated for a year and then she moved on. In the long term her goals included marriage/kids, etc. I was never the option for that and we both knew it. It was a good year, we parted as friends, and I think we both learned a lot from it. She was mature for her age and I think it can be safely argued that I'm not, so maybe that helped. What we both wanted right then was an intimate friendship. I think I brought her a different perspective on men and relationships than she was getting from the 20 year olds she had dated, and she brought me wonderful conversations and an enthusiasm for life that a lot of people my age have lost. It wasn't about the future, it wasn't about the sex, it was about the friendship.

As an update, she is now married to my best friend, with all the plans for the future between them. House, dog, planning kids, all that stuff. There's 15 years between them and they seem to me to be the most compatible couple I know. And we're all still friends. It was a valuable and life changing experience for all of us, one I wouldn't trade for anything. If I had dismissed the possibility out of hand because of her age I would have missed many of the best experiences of my life.

It all depends on who the people are and what they want out of it.
[User Picture]From: chrismaverick Date: November 21st, 2007 - 04:11 pm (Link)
and for the record, I never found you guys icky in the slightest. Well her, anyway, you're clearly a dirty old man.

Seriously, you'd be a key example to this issue, there's no rule that says that your personality is based on your age, so there can't be a rule that says your age necessarily controls your compatibility with someone else.

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