So on my lunch break, I walked over to the post office to mail in my return and the check. On my way out of the post office I was stopped by an elderly woman who was protesting tax law,
Woman: Excuse me! Would you like to know how the government spends your tax dollars?
Me: Ummm, no... I most certainly do not.
I wish I had a camera on me for that one. I was in a rush, so I left my camera bag in my office. That'll teach me. I guess I could have used my iPhone. Oh well.
I hope I wasn't too rude. I mean, I gotta figure when you're protesting you get blown off by people a lot meaner than me. Really though, I'm depressed enough as it is. I really don't need to hear about how my $400 bucks (actually a lot more than that, when you take into account all the taxes that WERE taken out last year) is going to support some cause I probably don't believe in.
All the more reason for you people to elect me ruler. Under my administration your relatively meager yearly taxes will go to good roads, clean air, universal healthcare and a chambermaid in every home. And for all you negro families out there, who are still waiting for the reparations promised your ancestry. I'm there for you. Forty acres and a mule, baby!
"But Emperor Mav! Despite horrible atrocities of the past, we have not enough land to furnish every black family with 40 acres!"
I hear you, and I understand. And like everything else, my cabinet has a plan to help you out. I'm not quite ready to talk about the details, but let me just leave you with this teaser: