Steph and I were watching TV tonight and there was a commercial that I took note of. It was a commercial for the Commemorative Barack Obama Historic Victory plate. Because of the unprecedented demand they are expecting orders of this historic heirloom from the American Historic Society to be SO HIGH, they are limiting orders to no more than TWO PER HOUSEHOLD! So like order yours now and everything.
Excuse me for a moment, while I go outside...
WHAT IN THE BLOODY BLUE FUCK!?!?!?!
Ahem... Excuse me. Sorry about that, I'm back now.
Ok, I get that there are Obama fans out there. Really, first black president, it is pretty historic. Totally, get that. And seriously, I'm the last person to disparage anyone for wasting their money on stupid crap. I spend tons of money on tons of stupid crap. But seriously, who the fuck buys this shit?
I mean, this isn't the first time I've seen a commercial like this of course, there's always been random plates, coins and chess sets made to celebrate the birth of the nation, the civil war, space shuttle explosions, planes flying into skyscrapers and whatever. They've always been there. I'm 34 years old, and if it's not obvious, I've watched like a LOT of TV in my life. I've seen these commercials a million times over the years, but I've never bought a single commemorative plate.
I know lots of people. People from all walks of life. I have friends who are lawyers and friends who are cab drivers. I know millionaires and welfare moms. I have friends and family who are christians, jews, muslims, buddhists, pagans, wiccans and atheists. I've been in apartments and farm houses. Mansions and the projects. I have wined and dined with kings and queens and slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans (thanks, Dusty). But I have never ever EVER seen anyone who owned one of these plates. Not EVER!!!
And yet, somehow the Franklin Mint remains in business to this day! It just doesn't make any sense.
The real shame of it is that they still make this crap and yet they don't offer the TimeLife series of books anymore. How will younger generations learn of John Wesley Hardin and how he once shot a man for snoring too loud.
So who the hell buys these things? Do you know anyone who owns one? If so what plate? And it doesn't just have to be plates. Do you know anyone who owns the coins or chess sets? And if you do, please send them my way and let them know that I am now offering the commemorative edition Chris Maverick Infinity plate. I'm accepting pre-orders today for only $19.95. Each plate is hand crafted and comes with an authentic signed certificate of authenticity. Get one now and pass them along as family heirlooms. Be a part of history today!