Mav (chrismaverick) wrote,
Mav
chrismaverick

  • Mood:

kids don't try this at home (redux)...

Ok, enough of that... I can't believe people intentionally do this to themselves.

For the record, I weigh in at 179.0 lbs on my one day diet. Trust me, it was not just water weight, I did lose a legit 3 pounds. I expect that this wouldn't happen to most people, but 1) I've always had a pretty fast metabolism, and 2) I clearly have no tolerance for caffeine whatsoever anymore. So my body works really hard to expel all that crap. Anyway, I am now crashing pretty damn hard from the caffeine hit, and hopefully will be back to normal tomorrow. I HOPE! Honestly, these stupid sinuses aren't helping.

Random side effects:
  • I have a major caffeiene headache that I am looking forward to sleeping off.
  • I would randomly break into sweats at random points in the day whenever my metabolism decided it just wanted to work.
  • I'm extremely tired from my first caffeine withdrawl in a year and a half
  • I'm sore from my workout. I felt like I had a lot of energy, thanx to the super caffeine, but my body is more dehydrated than I'm used to, so now I'm just really sore. (even though I drank tons of water)
  • My pulse isn't exactly racing, but my normally really slow heart beat isn't right now, presumedly still effects of the drugs wearing off.


So, 3.5 lbs in 24 hours. Extrapolating, if I were to continue this for the full six days I had intended, I would have lost 21 pounds. If I had done it for the 2 weeks that people on the net said it would take to get noticeable effects, I would have lost 49 lbs. Four weeks (the recommended program on the ad at the store) would have dropped me 98 pounds, or more than half of my weight. If I could have maintained the full 12 weeks that is the maximum recommended program, I would have lost a very respectable 294 lbs. thusly shifting myself firmly into the negative universe and discovering sub-space. Sadly, I just don't feel up to it. Science will have to find some braver soul.

My recommendation: If you want to lose weight, use something a lot easier to deal with... like crack.

Not really a limmerick inspired by the lx_arena:

Now I lay me down to sleep...
No more Hydroxycut™, the risk too steep...
And if I die before I wake...
Well, it figures, really...
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 18 comments